The importance of family, no matter how old i get or how hard i try to push away from them your parents and siblings never leave your side, even if they are no longer with you to hold your hand and stroke your hair, if you no longer remember what they smell like and how they sound i know she's there, even if its something i see that reminds me of her or a unexplainable force that drives me to do things that i wouldn't usually do.
Not having someone in your life anymore gets harder everyday and i can't help but feel it's my fault and i can't help but feel guilty that I'm still here and she isn't because i know that if she was here she'd be doing more with her life than i am and would be happier than i am, sometimes i wish it was me who went and that i didn't have to live though thinking about her everyday of my life, if you've never lost someone close to you then i don't expect you to know how it feels, but a life lost to something that should never of happened, is the worst feeling i know I'll ever feel.
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